I was considering it the other day on two levels and for two reasons. First, was real suicide. With that I was just "flirting" in the back of my mind. Sort of a "just in case" kind of thing although I did have a plan. The second kind of "hurting myself" involved taking a bottle of pills just to get my husband's attention and convince him I have a serious mental disorder. I figured they'd pump my stomach and release me after a few days in the hospital. And, yes, I realize its dangerous but I wasn't exactly rational at the time. So when pdoc asked me if I was considering "hurting myself" I said yes. Upon further examination he came to the conclusion that I don't really *want* to die at this point which is true. They considered inpatient for me but decided just to give me a different anti-depressant and send me home. I took a week off work because the stress is just too much for me. Now that that weight has been lifted I feel somewhat better (at least this morning). It seems like mornings start out okay and then everything steadily goes downhill as the day progresses. Anyhow, I ramble. Has anyone else considered a suicide attempt just to convince people how depressed you really are and get some help or am I just a total weirdo?
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