We have moved yet again and I had no control in the matter and it pisses me off to no end! Now I don't even want to clean or organize the way I used to. This has placed even more of a wedge between me and my husband. Also, I want things to be and look a certain way and I am not happy at all with this house or where it is located! Does anyone else want things to be perfect and then never satisfied. I believe it's because my husband doesn't or never really has given me the love and affection I so desperately need and desire. He definitely has not helped with this disorder. It only magnifies it and pisses me off more. I've been with him for 16 years, married 14 and it has not improved. I have declined while he has achieved everything he has wanted. He has always been more married to his job and schooling and hobbies more than me. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he has done these things, but I always seemed to come last and I've told him this thru the years. Instead of me trying to get on with my life because I have an 11 year daughter, I've wasted much of my time worrying about having the dream home I always wanted and now stuck in this misery. Financially, I have place all my money I had earned into my dream home only to rent it out to follow him to another state because I went manic supposedly. I hate the way my brain operates from grandiose to feeling worthless! I am so incredible lazy and have no desire to cook. Even when I feel good, I don't like cooking because it reminds me of my mother and her misery cause she was stuck at home with no job year after year because of her fear and depression. I did work for about 6 years in the past 8 years but got triggered by different people there that it made me complain and do stupid things. uggggggghhhhhh!
Posts You May Be Interested In
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...