I constantly blame myself for the littlest things and will drive myself crazy(er) trying to find answers that may not be there or that I will never find on my own. For example recently a person I have known basically all my life decided she would take back up with some others we ran with in high school and I suppose I am their new topic. Now to give you the whole pic they done this to me all through high school also I just though that now we are adults and have children that would change. Although the bipolar disorder has caused me to be ten different people so noone really knows who I am anymore and I suppose that is why they turned away thinking I am two faced or something. Reguardless I feel so lost and confused I don't need to care what others think but it gets to me so bad even though I don't wanna care. This disorder has almost ruined my marriage also which led to us filing for divorce bc I "thought" thats what would make me happy and this "friend" caught wind and that when judgements flew. I understand they don't know my situation and could never understand anyway. I just need help coping with the fact people will be people I have to focus on who and what matters not letting this minor things eat me up...HELP!!
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