The only time I think about it is here, I live a pretty normal and highly functional life otherwise, great post Lou!

I don't think about it all, just when I'm on here or when I'm in a deep depression. Then I curse it.

I often think of a topic that I would like to post but by the time I am back on , it is usually gone. Apart from that, not very often, no.

It's kinda a non subject inside me, for the most part. And then, someone tells me that I'm getting worse..then I think about it. Don't you love people that feel it's their job to point out your faults?

yeah, true, Baggy..or when you when finally crack a smile or have an iota of enthusiasm they ask you if perhaps your heading towards manic territory. Shits me bigtime, obviously :)

Yeah! I was happily hypo manic..and coping with having company, and then more company. with anticipating taking care of grandbabies for a few days this week....and then someone 'helpful' told me that I was 'getting SO much worse'. well there went the happy high. thanks loads

quite, exactamondo. I tell my sister, after years of thought, I'm getting a dog & guess what question pops out of her mouth? Killjoy ;)

I'm a rapid cycler so I think about it more often than not. It's always a day by day thing for me. I have to watch it carefully and now we're in the process of tweaking my meds again so it's on my mind because my moods are obviously shifting around with the dosage changes until we get it right. It's a chore really. But I have to go through it periodically because my patterns change.

Recently, all the time.Cos I'm going through crap with benefits and I've had to phone someone or meet someone about it all every day.The psych too.
It's hindered everything else.I can't wait to sort it out and move on.

I try not to tell anyone about it because I dont want to be in the national spotlight or seem like I am using "IT" as some excuse for mood swings or being a "bitch" like some have tagged me.

I would agree with you lou2 that DS keeps it on my mind and so do the trillion therapy apts i must attend to deal with my moodiness and not to take it out on everyone else.
Personally though I have a tendency to stay home, which probably doesnt help matters so I do not expose my issues to others. Those who do not know me think it is a part of my identity "the bitch" those who know I have BP knows it will pass. I HATE IT!
I cannot help but obsess over it.

Quite a lot. It's fairly intrusive at the moment.

I am pretty much obsessed with it because I've been rapid cycling in mixed states for months.

I have other MH issues, too, so it is all in one big basket.

I stay to myself more and more, especially since my kids are finding their own ways in life, and don't need or want mom's advice right now (which is one of the things DS does to give me an outlet so I don't go completely NUTZ....sorry for all the motherly advice!!)

But also, I just can't handle people's "observations" of me anymore...like friends that tell me I'm "needy"....yeah, duh, but you don't know WHY that is, do you?

Or the one I heard recently from a couple of mutual friends, that there's got to be SOME job I could do....and one of them from a homemaker whose two kids are grown and gone now....ummmm....look in the mirror, lady.

But I hate myself when I get ugly and rude, and I can do that really well. So I'd rather stay in here with my cats and go downtown by myself once in a while.

I guess I think about it most, when I contemplate the future, and wonder if my kids will want me in their lives again, ever. That is about all that really matters to me. The rest of the world can suck eggs. Except my DS friends, of course.

i usually don't think about it too much unless it causes me to stay in bed all day and not do what i needed to do.
but lately, with the therapy five days a week and seeing the doctor at least once a week, it's been on my mind almost constantly.

I've been thinking about it a lot lately, being in intensive outpatient will do that to you.

Truthfully, when I'm not an outpaitent or on here, it's not a big issue for me.