It has been two weeks now and I still want to stay in bed and not face my life. My dr. started me on invega instead of risperdal because the risperdal made me gain weight. I feel so alone and uncapable of doing anything right now. For some reason I am scared to live, I've been crying alot. I want my daughter to come over and help me with my house to get in order but I know she will say no. I've never had her help before, I just wish I had some friends, I have one but he is married and I can't call him anytime. A place is helping me try to look for a job. I haven't worked in 7 years. I have my granddaughters basketball game to go to today but everything makes me sad. We had a traumatic event here where I live where a guy killed 8 people at a mall then killed himself. It makes me sad, the holidays make me sad. Iam scared and don't know why. I don't want to go to the hospital because you can't smoke there, and I haven't quit yet so I think it would be too hard to be there. Has anyone gotten scared but worked through it. I am gonna listen to my relaxation tape. I think it is a midlife crisis too I am 54 now and still feel like 35, I just don't know how I got to be 54 I feel I'am not adjusting well to the aging part.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??