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My bf and I have had our share of problems, now my big thing is not being able to trust him. How do I get over that? I mean, I know it takes time but what can we do to help the process along? Have you ever lost trust in someone and then later trusted them again? I never have before. If I catch a guy lying to me, out the door he goes. But I don't want to give up so easy this time. I really don't think he's cheated. But because I have caught him in a couple lies, I just wonder what else is he not telling me. The times when I knew he was lying, I gave him the chance to confess and he didn't do it. I had to call him out.
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Once they learn how easy it is to lie to you and get away with it.. Even if you bring it to their attention and forgive them.. They will do it more and more often because they know that you will forgive them.. I learned this the extremely hard way. Went through a 2.5 year realationship being cheated on with 9+ different girls.. And I always thought "if I don't trust him, what do we have???". If the efforts aren't there, and you don't feel in your heart that you can't trust him.. You probably can't.
I hope you get it figured out for yourself. xx
BTW it wasnt a typo. It was 5,500 texts.
And unfortunately people are the most likely to deceive the person who loves and trusts them the most.
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How to Trust Your Boyfriend
By Jennifer G. , eHow Editor
Trust is a key component to any healthy relationship. However, if youve been hurt in the past or even in the present, trusting someone is one of the hardest things to do. While trust takes time and effort on both of your parts, these simple steps will get you started on the road to building trust.
Step1
Communicate with your significant other. Communication is a key component in any relationship. However, its even more important when youre dating someone. Talk to your significant other about your feelings and expectations. Often times, poor communication is the underlying cause of many trust issues.
Step2
Give him the benefit of the doubt. Everyone makes mistakes and men are no different. Sometimes people do things without thoroughly thinking them through. As a result, the other person in the relationship starts to question their significant other. If something happens, always try to give your significant other the benefit of the doubt. However, if it continues to happen, be weary.
Step3
Let the little things go. Many fights get started over insignificant little things. For example, perhaps your significant other is 5 minutes late for dinner or doesnt answer his phone once or twice. While these little things are very annoying, they arent critical. Learn to just let these things go and move on. It will help your relationship.
Step4
Follow through with your end of the deal. Many people start to question how much they can trust their significant other when they are doing something that is shady. For example, dont flirt with a co-worker or go out to bars and get guys phone numbers. While these little things may give your self esteem a boost, they will also cause you to distrust your significant other.
Step5
Dont hold the deeds of your exes against your new boyfriend. Obviously if you have exes, you have exes for a reason. Perhaps they cheated on you or just treated you badly. Realize that those relationships are in the past. The relationship you are forging with your significant other is the present. Dont take out past experiences on your new boyfriend. This will push him away and the trust will never grow.
If he's been cheating on you repeatedly, he's worthless.
However if it is a one time thing, it could just be a big mistake.
Your decision though live life however you want to.
I'm happy to say he seems willing to work on things with me, and so far has taken time to reassure me when I need it.