I am living in montana, with my grandparents, and in this part of the country, mental illnesses, are not acceptable, at least by my family. I have 4 relatives, that have bipolar. I am not able to connect things very well, and learning is very difficult for me. I am needing to have a place to deal with my fears, and panic, and confusing things going on in my life. my family is doing their best to help me, but as far as being assisted with my mental health issue, I cannot get it here, and i do not know how. they do not want me to get help, i am hoping they change their minds about it, but in the meantime, i have got to take initiative over my healing. as you can see i am going all over the place with my thoughts., i know i cannot live this way, and i do not think it is gods design for me to be this way, and i am not sure how to get the help i need to function better. i think i may need more than fust counseling, and therapy. i do pray, and i need my life to work better, it is not just about my emotional experiences, that limit me from living a functional life., i was sitting at the table eating, and i realized i am thinking about how i eat, everything that i do, takes a lot of thought, and work. i am not sure if i am doing the right thing by asking for advise, i am just really sad that i cannot get extra help, i keep thinking and wanting it to get better, but it is not, i still am walking without two legs it seems, could it be an overemotional experience on my body and my brain, that is making my life impossible. I am afraid, that i need more help, and my family cannot give it to me. i am afraid, that it is more than just putting thoughts together, manipulation is goiing on too. i am not sure i need to reach out to god, and to others, i need to be loved and accepted even whild i am such a mess, i may need extra help and it does not seem like i can get it here., not sure what to do. i need physical help, and i have stability and security, but i am not getting my mental help- taken care of./
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