My fiance has ended our two year relationship after a nasty 3 month breakdown in my ability to not assalt her with irrational paniced and needy behavior. I was diagnosed last week but it is too late for her. I try and explain that I cant seem to stop the ridiculous fears and statments I make. I'ts like watching myself from behind fogged glass. I have accused her of everything under the sun and I can know in the next instant I dont realy believe it. The panic rat keeps running though my head and I only sem to make it worse for her. I need her now more than ever but that need is only pushing her away. I have to move out, she gave me one week,start treatment and a new job this week. My friend and lover cant stand me and I cant seem to explain that this crazy person I have been is not me!
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...