My sister got her 2nd covid shot Thursday, and my God is she whiny. I know I'm not very understanding or compassionate, but she complained about how horrible she felt for 2 hours. And hasn't been able to function for the last 2 days. Then said she should sue the "covid shot makers" because she was " having trouble with her motor skills". (She dropped her phone and it broke--only trouble she had was that).
I got my 2nd covid shot, felt like shit, and STILL cleaned the apartment, did laundry and made dinner. Never mind that I ran a fever and felt awful.
I am so self reliant that it has been physically and psychologically damaging to me. And I am aware of this fact. But relying on myself is a hell of a lot better than relying on other people. At least then you are less likely to get let down...
But to see her act so helpless and out of control is honestly disgusting. There are so many times I want to say, " just suck it up and deal with it". But then I'm invalidating her experience and I know if I ever said anything like that there would be massive fallout.
I know I'm being really harsh, but my god...sometimes it is so difficult to deal with her. She isn't 100% awful. She is just so....overwhelming and helpless and selfish that it is really really difficult to like her. To...tolerate...her.
I know being sick with kidney disease and being on dialysis has made it difficult for me to have compassion with her. I was quite literally dying, and still working 32 hrs a week. My body was slowly poisoning itself, but I still showed up and worked 8 hrs a day. At a job where I was constantly on my feet, constantly moving. Most people on dialysis actually apply for and get disability because end stage renal failure is such a debilitating, destructive disease...
But she gets sick, and suddenly drops everything in her life, and cries about how horrible she feels.
I....I just don't know how to cultivate compassion for her, when I see her as such a weak willed, overdramatic person.
It makes me angry at her, but I know I should be compassionate. I just don't know how to change the way I feel when I want to scream at her to shut up and deal with it.
I sure as hell have, and did. I've dealt with everything life has thrown at me. And survived.
Why can't she just deal with it, like I have? Why is everything this big, dramatic, world ending event? Why isn't anything in her life ever just...calm?
And how am I supposed to be compassionate when I get so angry at her for being such a drama queen?
have a problem taking passion flower for tremor just realizrd that i am having the paradoxical reactioni know that lamictal causes your eqilibriam making it look like you had a shot too many but i have been on it too long for it to cause problem with my balance i just started the passion flower and funny thing i drink a cup of coffee first thing and go out and have a cigarette later begen doing...
13 years ago I lost my Mimi..you'd think with time it wouldn't feel like my heart is getting ripped out of my chest over and over again. I know my last counselor told me that I never learned how to grieve my first loss.. but damn. When will it get easier??? 20 years? 25? 30?! The thing is... I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to let that part go.im having a hard day I'm sorry guys...