Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

deleted_user
Hi everyone! I am 31 y.o male.
I have had a long history of illness. I first got help after a psychotic episode on speed and extacy 7 years ago. Before that I was a Christian missionary traveled Africa and China.
I could not stay home longer than 5 minutes as a teenager or young adult. I always was delusional about being close to God and but I still find it hard because I am a Christian and want to be close?
Anyway the story goes on but I now have 2 kids and married. I have just made a full 2 year recovery from heart failure and now my symptoms are coming back.
I do not drink, smoke or do drugs for over 2 years.
I have been diagnosed anxiety disorder with past diagnosis of depression, borderline OC and a psychosis.
I woke up from Intensive care with no symptoms 2 years ago. My psychosis thinking and anxiety was gone. It was a miracle. Now anxiety has come back. Judgmental, fast mood swings, constant reading of the Bible and internet stuff on Bible doctrine. One day I have tons of energy and mow lawns for neighbors for fun the next day I hate my neighbor and think they are simple fools!!!
I am always presenting new theories to my wife about life and God and I write for hours each day
I don't hear voices or have hallucinations. I am not paranoid, far from it. I am not worried. I am just worn out from the constant change in thinking and feelings. I don't know what to do some doctors have said I am bipolar but I convince others I am not. As long as I have Valium for nervous thoughts and behavior and lexapro for depression I am o.k but I still get really low and a bit funny at others expense?
I have had a long history of illness. I first got help after a psychotic episode on speed and extacy 7 years ago. Before that I was a Christian missionary traveled Africa and China.
I could not stay home longer than 5 minutes as a teenager or young adult. I always was delusional about being close to God and but I still find it hard because I am a Christian and want to be close?
Anyway the story goes on but I now have 2 kids and married. I have just made a full 2 year recovery from heart failure and now my symptoms are coming back.
I do not drink, smoke or do drugs for over 2 years.
I have been diagnosed anxiety disorder with past diagnosis of depression, borderline OC and a psychosis.
I woke up from Intensive care with no symptoms 2 years ago. My psychosis thinking and anxiety was gone. It was a miracle. Now anxiety has come back. Judgmental, fast mood swings, constant reading of the Bible and internet stuff on Bible doctrine. One day I have tons of energy and mow lawns for neighbors for fun the next day I hate my neighbor and think they are simple fools!!!
I am always presenting new theories to my wife about life and God and I write for hours each day
I don't hear voices or have hallucinations. I am not paranoid, far from it. I am not worried. I am just worn out from the constant change in thinking and feelings. I don't know what to do some doctors have said I am bipolar but I convince others I am not. As long as I have Valium for nervous thoughts and behavior and lexapro for depression I am o.k but I still get really low and a bit funny at others expense?

deleted_user
Sorry my heart failure symptoms are not back my mental ones are!!!

deleted_user
My dear new friend...welcome to the world of a person who is diagnosed, Bipolar. I had to laugh towards the end of what you wrote...you said the magic words...."convince others I am not.". That was me in a nutshell! I am and always will be a survivor of this illness by acceptance. It's not ALL of me, but a part of me. My blessing was finally learning and understanding that I did suffer from an illness, and my behavior/emotions did not mean I was a retard or bad seed. I, myself am dual-diagnosed....BP II with panic/anxiety and PTSD on one side of the spectrum and substance abuse on the other which is very common since some of us are known to be self-medicators and addicted to anything that might cross our path. I stay away fron Valium, Zanax and such because they can be addictive, but have a great 'cocktail' of happy pills to help with staying balanced. I have a vivid imagination which through the help of God, have made it to good use in my life now instead of causing turmoil wherever I may land. It's a struggle sometimes, but the knowledge I've gained surpasses the price of the pain and I'm on a slow and gentle path to recovery as I know it to be for me. I thank God everyday for being there with me and praise him for his confidence in knowing I can make it through. I still have my moments as we all do, but the road is not so full of cracks and potholes anymore. You're OK, my friend...you're on the right track by your awareness and knowledge. Be a sponge for info about your illness and know God is with you always.
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