When the depression got so bad all I could think about was suicide

I could not stop crying and I was afraid that I would hurt myself to relieve the pain I was feeling. I felt like the top of my head was going to blow up.

When I could barely breath from anxiety overwhelming me.. and I kept saying the strangest things. Like "when the Burmuda Triangle lines up we're all gonna die!"
Geez lmao

I swear I think there are many times I should have hospitalized myself.
I am lucky I just did not hurt myself and that is the main thing.
I was in the hpspital one time for an overdose.
When you do hospitalize yourself, do you go to a regular hospital? or a pshyc hospital
Anyway I hope that you are ok

When a thunderbolt came out of the cloud, that was above my head, and hit me in the ass!
Actually, it's when the feeling of suicide becomes so entrenched in your mind, that you're seriously considering it... get to the ER

I syopped eating I stopped taking fluids
I stopped waking
I stopped living..... But because I was too low to be suicidalI was turned away.

So I went to another hospital and I took just enough extra meds that they had to keep me even if to find out later they could not help me.

What I will say is if you feel like you don't belong here in this world GO and GO now!!!

If you can wait til your next apt and you are sure you are safe wait it out.

You loose your cell phone you laptop your silverware you eat with platic everything.

That said I have put myself if the hospital 3 this year alone.

in 1999 I was in 5

So, you see I survived it just not well.

I went to the hospital before and it was really beneficial, uts just that this time I feel like I have too much that I want to keep in my life to take such an impacting break ... but I cant get that little voice to shut up and I cant accomplish anything and i just cant cope

Maybe you might consider partial hospitalization, day treatment, if your facilities have that.

I have been hospitalized too many times to count, only one of which was involuntary. None was very beneficial, just kept me from going down any further, or simply for meds to get the mania under control. I do not like hospitals for any reason, though. Partial for day treatment might be okay.

wish they had night treatment, thats when everything seems to get so bad

when the 100 sleeping pills I took didn't kill me.
when god doesn't want you its time for help

I leave it to the pdoc's to make that call.

The day the bus missed me by two feet.

my T told me and she arranged everything for me. it was the best experience about 10 times.