Don't be down on yourself. Even "normal" people can only take so much. Just take a deep breath and start over. That might be a lot easier said than done. Keep your head up.

I know how you feel. When my four were smaller I freaked all the time. Just go to them and explain it. It wasnt about them, it was mommy getting overwhelmed. That there was too much going on at once. Honey, dont be so hard on yourself. Relax and take a breath. After hubby gets home, take some time for yourself in a quiet place and center. I think the most important thing I always did was let them know I loved them and it wasnt about them. I still communicate with them and they are much older. Now they are old enough to understand before I freak that it is a phase I am in.

thank you guys that is what I just did They took it better than me.. My hubby works so many hrs that I am always alone and its alot!!
He works 6 days a week from 9am -11pm and I NEVER have a moment.
If I had the $ Id hire some help.

You are not a terrible mom. A terrible mom would not feed, clothe, or love her children. No one is perfect.

Angie, when my kids were small, my hubby worked 14 hour days and I was freaked all the time. We didnt have money either, but my church had a sitting service one day a week and there was and organization called moms day out. I didnt have family here, but my friends would take my kids or come over for a couple hours a week so I could get out. Ask family or friends. If just for a couple hours a week. Otherwise it is a volatile situation. That is a lot of stress for a young mom that is isolated so much. Find a way, it is there, I promise.

THANKS GUYS!!!! A little better as they were fighting and screaming all of a sudden the room turned pink and my daughter said what is that and it was the most amazing sunet. We just sat and the window and watched it. As least my 6 and 2.5 year old did.
Now they are sitting watching a show.
Phew...that was a crazy moment

Shelly4 I never even heard of that!!!
I am gonna see if there is something in my area!
OH MY GOD...I would be sooooo happy THANKS!! Ill let you know if I find anything

Woo Hoo, quiet is sooooo good. Take advantage of it and take some time to breath and close your eyes. You deserve it girl.

Do let me know Angie, and if you ever want to talk I am here. I have tons of experience with raising four kids while bipolar and a hubby that worked constantly. I am a click away.

First your not the first or the last to get overloaded.

Second none of your children will suffer permant harm from your reactions and if handled constructively may even learn.

Third!!! Tell them that mommy needs a time out. Tell them the rules: ie the oldest keeps an eye on the youngest, and they all watch cartoons or play in a safe room ie a bedroom or something. I use a baby gate for my daughter in her door way (I can see it from my bed) and turn on her tv. Mommy then takes a time out which for me is 10 or 15 min in my bed in the dark with the tv on... if things are going well maybe a bit longer

Forth and the most important!!! When you are calm and they are more under control, tell them that their behavior may not of been 'right' ie screaming or demanding ect, but that is no reason for mommy to have a 'temper tantrum' (they understand what that is). Appologise for it and tell them that even mommies have to practice at good behavior.

When I take my daughter out of time out we always have these talks and I always make her appologise. Now if I get out of control she will actually start counting to 3 and then if she gets to 3 (often she does she counts fast) she says mommy your yelling go to time out. It reminds me that even my kids deserve to be corrected and disaplined by a calm mommy. Usually it ends up we both have 'quiet time apart' for a short time and come back in calm manners and both apologise.

I really hope my experiance and learned tool might help you find stucture in a chaotic enviroment

Also do you have to ability to have a mommies mental heath day and or time? For me this is a time where my daughter goes to daycare and I am able to focus on me or nothing at all. I was having a real depression and starting to crash even thought money is tight I sent my daughter to school an extra day this week because I didnt have my "ME" time. You might have to get creative or have to have smaller bits with hubbys help but if I dont get my time I suffer for it and then so does everyone else.

BIG HUGS

If I might butt in...my sister raised two wondeerful feisty boys and 5 boy grandsons using parts of the bbok sheparding a child. just a try.

While writing a book I see you replied ;p

I have an idea for your mommy time. DO you know a teenager you would trust with your kids? or one in the neighborhood? For 3 kids I bet you could find a teenager even if only 12 or 13 to come over for an hour or 2 and watch the kids or play with them. When my daughter was little I seriously needed me time even in small doses but I didnt trust leaving her. I hired a girl that lived near me to come over after school even if only one day a week. She would watch my daughter and I would go to my room. I would take a bath and read my book or take a short nap or watch a tv show. just having the mental break even if not totally physical was sooooo important. Im sure you can find even just 10$ in the budget... maybe less snacks or ones that dont cost as much. One less nite out or a casserole instead of a steak/roast? Its amazing how if we set it in our minds we can find the spare change for even an hour. And your there incase there is a problem.

my advice is to hire a babysitter and give time to yourself sometimes it is best for a vacation and it sounds like u need one

Thank you guys and thanks Buggy for that great advice!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be honest I have never looked.
My cousin called me last week and said "your ass need to call me when you are stressed to come and watch the kids" Have I NOPE, so I definatley think I am to blame to. I NEVER like to ask for help, never have!!! so all this is so new to me.
I think I am gonna call on a favor to someone so that even just to go food shopping with a peace of mind oh would be so nice. To have someone help me feed the kids or just play with the is like a vacation.
I just moved here to this part of NY last Aug so I dont know the "babysitters" yet but I heard about some
Think its time to make some calls too

it moght be a good idea to do an interview proccess with them too tho to make sure ur kids are in good hands