Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Hiding symptoms of bipolar II?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I think I may have been hiding my symptoms, as best I can, of bipolar II from my husband, my therapist, and my parents for the past many months. I have been doing well for the past several months, especially considering how difficult the last three years have been with stresses in my life. But I do have times where I become depressed, what I think is hypomanic, and also ocassional fleeting suicidal thoughts (recently).

I have been watching more television and movies this year, I think as a way to escape my strong feelings. I haven't been able to be consistent with hardly anything - my interests, my desires, my hobbies, my homemaking, the way I am with my children, etc. I don't let people know too much about that though.

I've been trying to convince myself and others who know about the possibility I may have bipolar II, that I don't have it by showing them my good behavior. It's been since I've joined DS and I've met other bipolar friends that I've started to once again explore this possibility.

Have any of you ever done anything like this? If so, what kinds of thoughts/behaviors did you try to hide from others(at least to the best of your ability)?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Everything,,,I thought I spent money because i was bored....It seemed to relax me for the moment till the next fix...ppl at work, trying to be UP and happy all the time...its to hard to hide..I have come to the conclusion that I need to deal with it now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Absolutely I hide anything that I can. I used to be very very open...forget that..it only bites you in the ass...sometimes though it is just to plain to see there is obviously something wrong with me.....then I just suck it up say IM sorry and try to move forward..once people know your bp they cant help but have a whole new opinion of your behavior ,etc, etc,.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Absolutely I hide anything that I can. I used to be very very open...forget that..it only bites you in the ass...sometimes though it is just to plain to see there is obviously something wrong with me.....then I just suck it up say IM sorry and try to move forward..once people know your bp they cant help but have a whole new opinion of your behavior ,etc, etc,.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can't hide it. It is your personality. You may think you are hiding it, but the people who know you well enough can see the changes whether you think they can or not.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I suffered from depression real bad and was always being treated for that. I hid the hypomanic symptoms because I thought they were character flaws and if only I was a better person I wouldn't get angry, agitated, anxious, have racing thoughts etc...Finally one day I told my therapist about some of it and he sent me to a pdoc. I was then diagnosed with bipolar 2. I was pretty good at hiding things for a long time, but I couldn't do it now if I wanted to. My meds work well though, so you should tell you tdoc if you have one what's going on. Write it all down so you don't forget anything and then tell him/her everything that youve been going through. You will be happy you did. Good luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
I tried to hide it from my boyfriend, but he can always tell when I am "off". So we agreed to be open with one another about this. I asked him to tell me when he thinks I am headed for "bipolar" behavior, such as negative thinking and the way I get when I am headed for a meltdown. I tell him now when I my feelings start to get out of whack. I figured that if I let him see my bipolar behaviors that he would think I was a scarred, hurting, useless person. That is depression talking. I think you should be open with your husband about what you have to deal with in this disease. You are his wife, and hopefully his best friend, he should do all that he can to learn about this disease and find out ways of coping and being there for you. You are in this together. I have told most of my good friends that I am BP, and none of them reacted in a bad way. They just were sorry that I have to go through this, and lend their support. Being BP is not a BAD thing, it is who we are.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sometimes you do have to "fake it to make it" in this world. Bipolar is Not my defining personality...and yea , you can hide it , when you want to cry for no reason and you just dont for the sake of the public..or when you want to curse someone out who just totally pissed you off, instead you just go breathe or smoke a cigarette,trust me I have put on a happy face and dealt with the rat race many times...even when inside of me is a raging bitch......of course the one you are with , husband or whatever will pick up the signs and either stay or go....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I mostly hide my suicidal thoughts,cause i don't want to scare anyone,I got so use to them I just ignore the thoughts.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My therapist (who I've been with for two years) and my husband (who is definitely my best friend) know about my concerns, but they are both kind of thinking that I have other issues (not necessarily bipolar) that are being worked through in therapy. I used to tell my therapist that I DID have bipolar, but then I changed my mind. He said it can take some time to tell. And my husband would rather not go there, again, unless he has to. He went through a lot with me last year and the year before, with my moods.

My parents knew about all this before, but I changed my mind and thought it was other issues I had...not bipolar. Now I'm not so sure.

It's more that I've been hiding the symptoms I am able to hide because I don't want others to say, "See, you do have bipolar." I'm not necessarily in that same frame of mind anymore though.
deleted_user
deleted_user
dunno about bipolar 2, but you definitely can't hide bipolar 1. if someone told me they had bipolar 1 and could hide it, I'd tell them they didn't have it.
shen
shen
I think I hid mine for years. I would make an excuse to get out of the house and act out some very distructive activities. I rarely let anyone I knew see who I really was. I drank to cover up my emotions, and didn't keep the same friends long. I pulled it together for my kids, or if I couldn't I got a babysitter and took off, got away. My husband works a lot, so it was possible to behave pretty normally when he was around and put off acting out these other feelings. I got very good at it. I think I have done it all my life.
shen
shen
I think the hard part for me, now, is trying to let people know me. I've just hidden for so long.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was in complete denial for at least 6 years (first time someone suggested BP to me). Six years later when I had a major manic episode, there was no denying it. Bipolar 1, by the way.
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