Welcome aboard!

I so lost. I feel so alone. please help me

What is wrong? Vent, cry, yell about it I'm here to listen.

I feel like a failure. I feel like my kids deserve another mom. I just want to crawl in the bed. and never come out.

YOur kids deserve you whether you believe it or not. Don't take away that! One mother is all your kids ever get. I know its hard but believe me this will pass. How old are your kids?

3 and 5 I"M so sorry this is all my fault. they got this illness at birth

Its not your fault believe me. My mother blamed herself for my mental illnesses up until the day she died four months ago. She told me numerous times she was sorry and she wished she could change the fact I was ill. But the fact now is I blame myself for being ill and having such a wonderful mother who was ill herself.

I"M just so tired no more strenght in me I am going to bed.will chat tomorrow

Ok nite and take care!

If you feel like you need to be in the hospital you should probably go. It sounds like your meds are not right...obvious statement I know. :0)
I also am bipolar, have ptsd and anxiety disorder and have a teen daughter diagnosed with bipolar disorder and aspergers syndrome. I understand how you can be overwhelmed. I can tell you that I felt like a terrible mom until I got on meds that worked well for me. I started taking Topomax and Wellbutrin, which worked well for me for a couple of years...then my husband was sent to Iraq for 9 months. My anxiety got really bad, and my daughter started acting out worse. I was put on Klonopin, and that has saved me. I have a worked full time for years with no problem, even been promoted 3 times within the last year...LIFE CAN BE GOOD!!!
You can get respite help with your children, and depending on your income, it can be free (at least where I live). You can look into getting a case worker for your kids if you don't already have one and start seeing what type of services your family will qualify for. Taking some of the stress off of you, getting the proper meds, and just allowing yourself to breathe will do you lots of good. You have a lot on your plate, ask for help...it is there. You may want to look into a support group, either for adults with your diagnosis, or for parents of autistic children...it is very helpful to know that you are not alone in your feelings and the things that you are experiencing. I worked as a mental health advocate for 5 years and saw a lot of wonderful things happen in support groups. Getting to know people who "get it" is a wonderful thing...to not be judged about what you are experiencing, but supported, can change your life. Best of luck to you! Keep your chin up!!! :0)

I hope you find DS to be helpful and give you strength. I completely understand the racing thoughts. I agree with you. They drive me crazy. Welcome to the site and try to stay positive. I'm here if you need me!

Hi, i am sorry to hear about the bad patch u are going thru. Please be strong...casue this is only a passing phase. But please do check on ur medicines. MAy be u need a change.

I can relate to the racing thoughts. I wish I could have a moment's peace in my head. Welcome.

Does trazadone help for racing thoughts,just started taking it. racing thoughts suck cause you get stifled,and cant do anything at least i can't. welcome crystirae.

welcome to DS bipolar board..i have racing thoughts too and they drive me crazy..the doctor put me on abilify and tileptol for them and another drug that i can't pronounce clomipramine..together they seem to help my racing thoughts.. i hope you are on meds or get on the right meds.. sometimes it can take a long time to figure out what works for someone..it took me a year to finally get on a coctail that works for me..good luck sweetie call your doctor and let him know what is going on with you he may need to change your meds...