Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

deleted_user
Hi,
My husband recently had a manic episode. It was his first and, as such, they can't diagnose him until/unless something more happens. He has never had the corresponding depression, so bipolar looks unlikely, although it was the only diagnosis they had in mind at the time. He is still a bit confused about it all and working hard to look after himself but he finds it hard to talk about too much yet. I'm having trouble getting closure and moving on emotionally because of a few things he said while manic. What I'd like to know is, if it's possible to describe, when someone is in a manic state and they say things that are highly uncharacteristic, are those thoughts/words what is really felt, deep down - like when you're drunk and you spill your inner most feelings? Or, is it just an aspect of the mania where things can be said without any real basis? I know that he doesn't believe in his grandiose delusions now, but it's the other things relating to our relationship that have been niggling at me. He talked a lot about needing more from me sexually, he talked a lot about other women and how he wanted to do some travelling alone - among other things. All of these things really floored me because we have always been great communicators and our relationship is solid. My sex drive has always been higher than his - I never dreamt that he was missing anything there - and we had plans to travel together (or so I thought.) When I question him, he's the one who seems confused about why I would be worried about our relationship. So, I'm really confused. I hope someone can shed a bit of light for me. I hope I don't come across too ignorant, but anywhere I look for information doesn't address this aspect Many thanks.
My husband recently had a manic episode. It was his first and, as such, they can't diagnose him until/unless something more happens. He has never had the corresponding depression, so bipolar looks unlikely, although it was the only diagnosis they had in mind at the time. He is still a bit confused about it all and working hard to look after himself but he finds it hard to talk about too much yet. I'm having trouble getting closure and moving on emotionally because of a few things he said while manic. What I'd like to know is, if it's possible to describe, when someone is in a manic state and they say things that are highly uncharacteristic, are those thoughts/words what is really felt, deep down - like when you're drunk and you spill your inner most feelings? Or, is it just an aspect of the mania where things can be said without any real basis? I know that he doesn't believe in his grandiose delusions now, but it's the other things relating to our relationship that have been niggling at me. He talked a lot about needing more from me sexually, he talked a lot about other women and how he wanted to do some travelling alone - among other things. All of these things really floored me because we have always been great communicators and our relationship is solid. My sex drive has always been higher than his - I never dreamt that he was missing anything there - and we had plans to travel together (or so I thought.) When I question him, he's the one who seems confused about why I would be worried about our relationship. So, I'm really confused. I hope someone can shed a bit of light for me. I hope I don't come across too ignorant, but anywhere I look for information doesn't address this aspect Many thanks.
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Honey, my heart goes out to both of you!!!!
It can be horrible to have BP or any mental illness that includes mania, (as well as others that don't) and it can be horribly difficult to live with someone who has it!!!
There's a support group on DS for 'families and friends of Bipolars'. Join that one as well as stay here!!! But that one might be more experienced in the answers you are looking for!!!!
If he was manic, then he was very likely totally out of touch with reality. Some people actually believe they are God, when in a manic state. It doesn't get much more out of touch with reality than that!!
It can manifest itself in so many ways!!! And as hard and horrible as it was for you to hear him say all those nasty things, he almost undoubtedly meant them when he said them, but does not believe them at all, when he is 'himself'!! Reality can get completely lost to someone, when manic. I'm sure that you are very shaken and scared by what you've just gone through, and so is he.
This will probably be the hardest part for the both of you, as it is so new and as he has yet to get a clear diagnosis. Have they put him on any medication yet? Some Bipolars do choose to deal with it without taking meds, but for the vast majority, medication(s) seem to do the best job of getting a handle on this illness.
If you can manage to do so, do NOT take anything he said when he was manic as having any basis in fact. My SO and I are both BP and have said some really dreadful things to each other when our mood swings that way. At the time we said them, they seemed true to us, but it was absolute bullshit. All of it. And we feel very regretful of all that was said, once that mood ends and a more normal one takes its place.
He's confused about why you would be worried because he knows he loves you in just the way that he always has. You're confused because you cannot comprehend how someone could say such outrageous, hurtful things to you unless they actually felt that way, at some level. But as hard as that is to understand, it is very possible. Very likely, even.
You will both need as much support as you can get in order to best deal with this!!
Read everthing you can on the subject. It will be quite overwhelming at first, but it will help you to start gaining some understanding of the nature of this illness and help you to realize that what he said to you was not what he really thinks.
Being Bipolar is not an excuse for the cruel and/or worrisome things that he said to you, but it is the reason. He must do everything he can now to get the proper treatment, so that things like this won't continue to happen. Any more than can be avoided, that is. It's a very complicated illness and it's often a bit tricky to treat, especially at first.
I was only diagnosed about 19 months ago and I'm just now starting to really get used to it. It's been a life-altering experience and one that has many aspects that I do not enjoy at all. But I am so much better now, with treatment, than I was before.
Good luck to you both!!!
They need to bap you down.
The depressions come later on.
You need to read up on the 'Flight Of Ideas'.Ther's plenty information online.
The rest is personal between you and yr husband.
Alcohol is a poor analogy.
Thank you all so much again.