Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Help getting rid of someone!

deleted_user
deleted_user
This may sound mean to some people but I am trying to get rid of an ex who is not taking no for an answer. I finally went to a Pastor to make sure I was not wrong in what I was doing. He explained that it is not my job to take care of him in the ways I am trying. This gave me the strength to say no and do what is best for me. My mental health comes first. He is ill, maniputlative, financially strapped, needy and has needy children...etc. At first I felt guilty to turn my back on him but I know now I am taking care of myself and yes I can't fix or save him. Problem he called last night, left a message: I'd like to talk to you if I could? I'll speak to you soon. Advise needed: what to do? 1. Don't answer, 2. Answer and ask him not to call me again, 3. Send him an email or 4. Do not answer, ignore, do not respond at all? Please advise, from advise to past experience. This is a new one for me. Thank you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you have already told him that you don't want any contact with him, then I wouldn't respond. There's no need to repeat yourself and there's no need to give him false hope by returning his call and showing him you still care. However, if you haven't yet made it clear that you don't want anything to do with him (friends or otherwise) I'd advise emailing him (less personal than a phone call) and let him know in writing that you don't want him in your life anymore, in any capacity. jmho
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Why are there 2 of these?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had an ex like that and it actually got to the point where I had to call the police. My advice would be to just ignore him. Everytime you agree to talk to him it gives him hope and makes him think theres a chance. If you just completely cut him out he will eventually realize that you two are over. It may be hard but you need to worry about yourself not him. Good luck and I hope this helped. :)
tommymott
tommymott
Nothing says "leave me alone" like a restraining order. My ex got one against me when I was manic and it effectively ended our marriage and communication.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Reafirm DON'T CALL ME ANY MORE! WE ARE DONE! I HVE MY OWN PEOBLEMS! Then hang u[ don't give him a chance to respond and do it everytime he calls. IF you don't pick up he may show up.
CarlaBentley
CarlaBentley
Hi, AngelMST!!!!
Sometimes, ANY contact you have with him, even to say 'knock it off' will be construed by the other person as an okay to keep up contact. And the needier they are, the more they are likely to think that. I think the best thing to do is have NO contact whatsoever. And the more he keeps trying, the more that is the right thing to do!!! Good luck. I hope he fades aways peacefully!!!
Take care and good luck!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you all for your time responding to my matter at hand. So far he called on Friday, I was not home, he did not leave a message...caller ID, since then nothing. So far so good. Taking it one day at a time and now thans to you all I have great ideas to work with, thanks again.
sanb
sanb
Reply #5 is exactly right and also reply #8. But then it never hurts to have someone go beat the crap out of him too.....JUST KIDDING!!!!!

Their advise is very good!~
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do not respond to him in any way. Even if you respond to him in a negative way, you have paid him attention. That is a way to ensure he keeps bugging you. A negative response is better than no response. If you dont take of yourself, no one else will. Change your phone number and block his emails from your email address.
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