Ah BP. Someone on the board here called it the Bastard Step Child of Mental Illnesses.

Yeah, some judgemental people do think we're mental.

I once dated a guy that told me he had herpes. Now, 25% of the american adult population has herpes. So, it didnt' seem like a big deal to me. But before I had sex, I researched the hell out of it on the computer.

I am willing to bet she researched BP and read up on Vincent Van Gogh, the greatest of BP1's and a couple others who in their day didn't have the luxery of anti convulsants, and got freaked out. Sorry to say. But you know what, she doesn't deserve someone as honest and willing to be open as you.

You will find someone who could care less about your BP. When things get tough, come here to DS and bitch it out. We get it!

I started to want to date and learned real fast what not to talk about until like actually six months into the date.

What i learned is that i was desperate to talk to someone and thata i instead needed to learn to express my concerns about myself to someone safe, not to someone i just met.

I do not advertise that i am on disability unless it's to some grant agency of some sort. It's noone's business how I get money.

Not wanting to talk about my BP to my dates is one reason why i got on DS and one reason why i joined www.meetup.com and the bipolar group. It's with these people that i can share that side of my life with.

she probably just thought that you were BI-sexual. she probably didn't hear the polar part.

Bi-polar is the "in" condition to be in! Like... there's bi-polars on soaps, talk shows, and the drama'a on t.v. Trouble is, bp's are portrayed as "bad guys". Ya, you should have said that you had a tumor, or something. You don't bathe, shave every week, don't give a shit about hygiene. You're millitant, want to shoot everyone in your class yearbook, and hate your parish priest. THAT would be safer! Life sucks... wear a helmet.
Peace.

I would not disclose either of these until I was much further into a relationship. I consider them very private and information for intimates only.

People do have stereotypes. Bipolar is crazy, disability is loser. We know that is not true. The only way to break through that is to let them see who you are first. No one has a right to this information straight out of the gate. Boundaries.

Here is my take on MOST women.. I know I am one..

Most want to be wined and dined not me a picnic on the living room floor with a fir or just a good movie on the tube..

Most want to know they will end up with some rich person who will take care of them finacially. While i ended up with my husband doing that he was working at Burger king when I met him and I was fine with that!!!!

Most want at least a 1carat diamond ring not me... i just git my ring 14 years later and its not a diamond but a Lab Created Green Saphire... Diamonds while he could of afforded to buy pone knows I hate them and all gems that come from slave labor!!

You will find a REAL NICE REALISTIC GIRL give it time.

BTW If I was not with my husband the only other one would be my best friend of 18 years who is on disability and ALSO HAS BP. Akk I need is a roof over my head and to be treated like a real person.

You will get there. Just don't say you are disability you could say you do freelance in whatever hobby you have.

I am a stained glass artist which is true I take orders on commission which is also true and I get paid... Its just not often they don't need to know that!!!

Unfortunately there are still some narrowminded people who think that.I am still careful who I tell.

Good information guys. I will be much more cautious of when and how I tell them my Disability. Thanks.

P.S. Before being diagnosed I had no trouble with the ladies. ( I think the fancy car and vacations helped though!)

aren't we mental?

Don't feel bad,dom17. My own husband admired and desired me more when I had money, a 'good' job, and not this diagnosis. Never mind that I am happier now.

Yup most of them doo. If that is the case, you can try and educate her...and if that just doesn't take, she's not worth you're time.

I'll tell her she's a cold hearted Bitch for you if you want....

you also have to consider though...if you were only on like one or two dates, hearing about someone's debilitating disease isn't really a turn on regardless of the disease...she is looking it as extra baggage.

I wouldn't tell someone until you have built a relationship with them first, but that's just me.

hi,l met my partner only 9 wks ago,on the first date over coffee l told him l had bypolar,he looked a little shocked,then asked for me to explain as much 2 him as l could,l did,and after listenin he said that he was prepared for us to go out together,he could not see a problem..since then we hve talked and we are both really happy..and whn l dont feel good,no matter what l tell him,and we mamage from there...but unfortunately there is still people that dont understand,or willin 2,because it is the unknown,we hve 2 prove to them that we are not MENTAL,just because that is part of the title,MENTAL ILLNESS...as lve said,whose to say that we are not normal,and everybody else is weird....MENTAL. who are around us.!! ?

It's definitely not a selling point.

I'm surprised that you were surprised, frankly? Stigma central and all that x