Today I was woken up by my dad who was trying to get as much as possible done before 8 o'clock when we had a bulk trash pickup. My brother stores all sorts of crap in his room, which he doesn't live in anymore, and he and I had to carry down some heavy equipment. Needless to say, we were working at the last minute and my dad was agitated. He got me into some trouble over the summer because of his mood swings. He got a call from some bill collector and he screamed at her. I can't take his problems. They're not my fault. We didn't get much done and we had to carry a 100 lb organ down the street to another trash pick up because we missed our pickup. His disorder keeps me in a mess and I'm glad I'm moving on to bigger and better things soon. I think I got accepted into a university far away from my home. He makes me feel weird and uncomfortable sometimes because he's so unprepared and always works at last minute.
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i made this account because i hope this reaches someone who can understand. I feel immense shame and guilt over my past behavior while manic. I have ruined relationships with friends and family members, gotten tattoos that i dont want, done things that make me cringe. The weight of the self hatred gets to be too much sometimes. I feel like a burden. Nobody understands. I hate myself today.
Our great friend OlderC could really use some love and support right now... She's hit a rough patchBig squishy hug Kat... I hope that you start to feel better really soon.... xo