You all are so close and, though I know you have your bad times, you joke and kid around so much I feel I am intruding and bothering you with my problem. I just don't know where else to go for advice and help! I have been in the middle of what my pdoc said was a mixed episode for 2 wk. I saw him last week and he upped my Paxil and I'm now on day 9 of Lamictal; I know it will take 2-4 wk for the changes to have any affect-longer for the Lamictal. I can't turn my brain off-racing all over=can't sleep either!! But the depression has hit an all-time low. Haven't been out of the house in almost a week, don't answer the phone, and now don't bother getting dressed! The house is dirty and so am I! Problem is I don't care! Cranky and super-irritable too! And I'm supposed to be in AZ next week to visit my son in prison! Haven't seen him in 4 yr-planned this trip for months! I called the pdoc and they put me on a cancellation list. I also have fibromyalgia, arthritis and other chronic pain issues. I have a stash of percocet that I'm using again and it only takes the edge off the pain so between my brain, the hell of the depression and the pain, I'm about ready to throw in the towel! I'd call a crisis line but somebody wrote on here that they did, the call was traced and they ended up in State. I have one really loyal friend on DS who's got to be tired of hearing me complain! How do you get thru these mixed episodes? What do you do about the racing thoughts? And the horrid depression? This has to be what it feels like to go crazy, to breakdown!! I've tried relaxation, Thai Chi, deep breathing, guided imagery-no good! I've dealt with depression for 30 yr, suicide attempts and all but I've never had to deal with anything like this! I apologize for taking up so much space and time but I really need your help-please!!! Help me out with this and I'll never bother you again-I'm desperate!
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