What does the gay horse say to the other gay horse?

Heeeaaay!

Not my best joke, but it's late.

o my lord that was so lame i actually laughed! (didnt get it though!)

what do you do when you see a "space man"?


park in it man!

hehehehehe ?????

A koala bear is sitting up in a tree, smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past, looks up and says, "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint. Want some?"

The little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and starts smoking with the koala bear.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard, "What's the matter with you?"
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was smoking a joint with the koala, got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is smoking, looks up and says "Hey!"



The koala looks down at him and says:
"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude! How much water did you drink?"

tee hee.

Two Italian construction workers are hard at work digging a ditch when they see their foreman Bob walk by.

Rocco says to Luigi, "Luigi, how come-a we digga da ditch anna get alla dirt anna Bob-a is-a nice anna clean?"

Luigi says, "I donno Rocco, I'ma go ask!"

So Luigi trots off affter Bob and when it catches up to him he asks, "Bob-a, how come-a me anna Rocco allaways digga da ditch anna get alla dirt anna you stay clean?"

Bob smiles and says, "Intelligence."

Luigi frowns and asks "what is-a dis eeentelleeegence?"

Bob tells Luigi to follow him to a large tree and he'll show him. When they get to the tree Bob holds his hand in front of it and tells Luigi to hit his hand with his shovel as hard as he can.

Luigi says "Meh, Bob-a I don' wanna hurt-a you hand!"

Bob tells him to just do it so Luigi swings his shovel as hard as he can at Bob's hand. At the last second Bob pulls his hand out of the way and the shovel hits the tree. Luigi falls over in surprize and Bob laughs and says "That's intelligence."

Luigi jumps up, grabs his shovel and runs back to the ditch.

"Rocco! Rocco, I know why we digga da ditch now! It's-a eeentelleeegence!"

"Luigi, what's-a dis eeentelleeegence?"

Luigi says proudly, "I'm notta tella you I show you!"

Luigi holds his hand in front of his face and says "Rocco, hitta ma hand widda you shovel as-a hard as-a you can!"


Sorry it's quicker to tell than type....hope you like. I'm Italian and crack up every time I tell it.

Yes, Velcro! I woke up this am and in the corner of my sun room was someones sense of humour! It looked lost and forgetful, so I invited it for a lox and bagels breakfast and then told it that it was time to go home and manfest in the person it belonged to. I'm in Florida. Your sense of humour should be home soon. Have fun!

well, I think you're looking in the wrong place for your humor. First there's only 1 u in humor. If you spell it correctly you might find it.

Joke:
"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts."

Hello there velcro,

Let me tell you a story of an incident that happened while were on vacation.

It was around July. Eal Bay in Canada, just north of Kingston. Sunny, clear blue sky, gorgeous day. I have some pictures on my page.

We have a boat. Not the greatest thing on earth, but it gets us out on the water to fish. Two seater.

We went out fishing on this day very early morning. We usually get up around Five AM, well, I get up around 5.

Anyway, we fished most of the morning. It was getting close to lunch time and we decided to go up this one channel. The water looked like it was ah around about 6 foot. Because the water was so clear it was actually around 15 foot. You could see this really smooooth weed bed on the bottom. Well, I always use an umbrella to keep the sun off me so I don't get well done--like the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer uses butter for suntan lotion. I tuck it between my boobs and down my pants to hold it in place. We stopped, dropped anchor, I put my umbrella down on the deck of the boat so I could stand and stretch and get my pole baited up. A gust of wind took my umbrella and just flipped it into the water! I just panicked! I watched as it just slowly sunk upside down into the water and landed on the weed bed bottom.

I took a couple of minutes to think about what just happened. We had several days left of our vacation and certainly did not want to be out on the water without my umbee. I prepared my self by psyching me up! The only thing I could do is dive in and get it!

Without any hesitation, I dove in and right down to my umbee, grabbed the handle and started pulling. It was suction cupped to the bottom! I cane up for air. Assessed the situation again. Decided I would go down and put the umbrella down. Close it up. I did it!

Now here is where it really gets interesting.

Now I had the task of getting back in the boat! Didn't think I'd have a problem at all. John gives me his hand to pull me in. Ok, this is going to be harder than I thought. I tried and I tried again! Finally, John says, let me give you the anchor and I will pull you in. I could have killed him right there and then!

I finally remembered, that I had made a rope with foot holes in it. I try to be prepared for everything. By putting my foot in that loop, I was able to be pulled back into the boat.

Hope this makes you laugh velcro. We really had a lot of fun that year.

That story is truly a first for me and very visual as well! I have ne'r heard of a woman swimming 15 down to get an open umbrella!

Me neither! a guy would've just gone and bought a new one.

Mind you I do remember fishing at a friend's cottage and catching......you guessed it! a very expensive fishing rod!

No lie, I caught a fishing rod while fishing. we all had a good laugh over it.

Believe it! Its TRUE! For real, no hallucination I promise you.

I have found the greatest lures in trees.

What goes "Clip Clop Clip Clop Bang! Bang! Clip Clop Clip Clop"
An Amish drive by shooting.

Hi Velcro, your sense of humor left my place about 5 hours ago, it should be home soon.