I have had bipolar for over 15 years and have never felt completely happy with anything in my life. People close to me over the years have had trouble understanding this since everything would point to me being happy. I am successfull and in love but no matter what is going on in my life, I am constantly having feelings of unhappiness and that things should somehow be better or that othres have it better and or are happier than I am. I feel that I am constantly striving to be happy and am often disappointed and left feeling empty and lonely. I find myself fascinated over the years with fantasy such as movies and places like Disneyland where I can for a moment feel I am in an alernate reality of happiness and that everything is perfect. I feel when I watch these movies or go to these places I can forget reality and my unhappiness and just pretend I am living this perfect reality that I am experiencing. Does this sound nuts? Am I alone or does anyone else feel like this?
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