My mom and I had a big fight. I have been trying to get her to understand me for years and she is so in denial. I was in college until my grandmother died in '05 and my GPA was up there so I am not dumb. I definetly had self-destructive thoughts today. I am so tired of living in my head. Besides my illness my mom is not accepting of my tats and piercings. I am so tired of living in my head. I am almost ready to send my kids to live with there dad so well i can.... My kids would definetly hate me if I did that but then again it wouldn't really matter if I wasn't here.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...