Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

deleted_user
I did some terrible things last spring (2006) while very manic. The mania in no way excuses what I did. Now, however, the guilt of what I did is a major depression trigger. I can be fine, and then I am reminded of how horrible I was/am, and I am immediately on a downward spiral. How can I stop this cycle? I am going to be continually reminded of my sin, so I cannot let myself get depressed every time. I would them be depressed most of the time.
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Ron
No, the mania is no excuse for what you did, but it IS the reason.
Keep that factor in mind when you look back upon what you did.
Do not judge yourself as though the acts were something that the real, core you, acting with your sense of character, would choose to do.
When I look back on choices I made, when Bipolar was holding the 'real' me hostage, I feel a certain sense of regret and also a bit of sadness for myself, for the things I did were nothing that I would normally choose to do, the operative word being 'normally'. And I have to live with some serious, long term ramifications and consequences of my actions, so I do realize that it is practically inevitable that reminders will pop up from time to time, or even stay ever constant.
Try to keep in mind that the fact that you have negative feelings when you are reminded of those things is proof that you are NOT like that and try to tap into a sense of gratefullness, even. For it is your recognizing the fact that those were bad choices that will help make it easier for you to avoid repeating them in the future!!
Good luck!!! I hope you are able to reframe your thinking about this. Going into the downward spiral is, in a way, a continuation of those acts, in the sense that it is still deeply affecting you. Let it die, let it go, as best you can. Focusing on it keeps you from moving forward.
Take care!!!!