I couldn't go to sleep last night and started thinking about how I have lost friends in the past by doing or saying something that hurt their feelings or alienated them and how guilty I feel about it, especially since I didn't now what I did or said to drive them off and how it hurt to lose even new friends. The thing is I have many friends I've been friends with for years now so it is so hard and I feel so bad and guilty to lose new friends and not know what I did to offend them. So I am sending out apologies to those who I have completely unintentionally driven away, especially one friend from many years ago who I miss dearly. My friends are precious to me and I would never hurt them knowingly. I don't know whether it's the illness or a gap in social skills but I wish I could find out what I'm doing wrong. I feel like a worthless, purposeless, valueless person without the skills to keep from hurting people I care about. Hoping this borderline therapy will help with that. Fingers crossed. All my love to my friends today!
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