I've often times been where you are now emotionally speaking. I'm there now, honestly. Probably not the best one to give advice, but I can relate.

It is almost like a "dull" acceptance of where you are right now. Maybe focus on some positive objectives for your life and see your future in a more positive light. This disorder can be very difficult sometimes but it has its tremendous gifts that add great value to our lives. Hugs

First ...WELCOME to DS and the world of BP.

Very complicated..both of them.

Your meds are just now begining to kick in..it can take 6 to 8 weeks to fully feel the effects.

What you are feeling is practically textbook NEW BEEPER feelings.

Stick around ,and you will find a whole new world for you to relate to...like no place else..we live what you are living..we have been and done what you are doing ...we KNOW the pain,the apathy.the manic...WE ARE BEEPER...
WE KNOW

I've felt that way; it's sort of a number version of depression. Sometimes when the mania goes away it feels like there's a void. I think it requires adjusting and filling it other ways-- I'm trying to do this myself. Plus I think when you stabilize you grieve a bit for losses. But you're young and newly married, so that's a good thing!!! Cherish that and remind yourself that things will improve as you recover.

Your perspective sounds like it could be helpful in progressing with things steadily, which is probably the best approach? Take setbacks as they come, build up satisfaction over time - it's better than having an up only to fall again I guess?

Welcome to DS

Yes I have the same thought I am resigned to death I don't really care. Not suicidal just resigned to the inevitable

welcome 2 the world of DS &dp.sounds as if ur going thru the steps of grief.my mind it's not working well,not sure if they're called steps &/how many there r.u could google it.

kubal-ross wrote the stage of death&dying..diff stages of grief

welcome to DS

Welcome to DS, you will find a lot of support here. People how share the same feelings as you, its nice. Here's a hug for you.

welcome ..i have felt those feeling before when i first started my treatment...sometimes i still feel that way...hugs ..marie

Don't be afraid of how your feeling, whether good or bad, or just indifferent. It is always changing, and your medication hasn't really taken a good grip. You will find that you can say almost anything on here, and there will be at least one, if not more people who understand you. I understand your feelings right now. I feel the same, you just need to ask me on different days. My BP swings rapidly, but I have this indifference or who gives a damn attitude alot. I try to remember that I will not always feel this way, and it always does change. Sometimes your UP and sometimes your DOWN, and somehow you find yourself stuck in the MIDDLE. Welcome to the site, and the disease...Angel...

I don't believe that this is 'abnormal'. It's a kind of 'numbness' that many experience with a new therapy or treatment. I wouldn't worry about it...in many cases, it will pass. Just be wary if your disposition changes suddenly to suicidal or despairing.