I really need help, Im 23 and a fire fighter and was in the ARMY I have been struggling with depression and ptsd and recently got diagnosed with bi polar. I just found out that the state denied me medicaid and disability I am about a million dollars in debt from medical bills. I am too sick to work and I just feel like I am going to crash. I try and try and just keep getting knocked down and everytime I try to get up I am kicked back down. I feel like I have been f***ed up since conception. I found out that my dad that I thought was my dad wasn't and that my mom has lied to me my whole life. My whole life age 2 to 13 I was physically and mentally abused by my ex step dad. I am constantly in the hospital cause I am sick all the time and they cant find anything wrong with me so they write me off and call me a crazy drug addict. I am in school, but that I cant even get through due to illness. I just am tired. I just feel that I am nothing but a problem/burden to my friends and family, they've given up on me. I just dont see the point in living anymore. I am climbing a endless mountain. Im ready to stop climbing and jump off. That way I can eliminate the problem and burden and pain Im causing my friends and family.
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