It makes perfect sense I also get that way periodically. I would say its bp.

Likely, It's the borderline. There is a wonderful book out called, "I Hate you, Don't Leave Me". It's about Borderline personality disorder and is considered to be one of the best out there on the topic right now.

I won't label it since I'm not a doctor. It does sound like borderline, but who knows. MHA is good to suggest that book. Maybe you and your PDOC or TDOC could look at it together and discuss your feelings. I sure hope you start feeling better.

I wonder if I have borderline personality. I had alot of life traumas and therapists told me repeatedly I had this way of telling people "stay away, but come closer." I'm not sure if it's BP, unless you feel ashamed of your disorder (as I do at times) or may not trust people (I have that problem, almost to paranoia).

Eek, sounds like me...I push those that love me away, only to feel like a jerk for doing it. Then I get sad, make amends, then start the cycle again...I made a promise to myself not to long ago, that when I realize what I'm doing, to Stop the cycle and start over...It's helping though! Good luck!

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder. It is mainly about the mood swings and the different behaviors because of it.

People with borderline personality have a basis of fear of abandonment - when they first meet somebody, they seem terrific, great, and likeable, until the first disappointment. Then all is lost. And self esteem is very low. It is a black-and-white, all or nothing perspective. This creates a visious cycle of failed relationships. It is very similar to what you are describing, because all along, they really want the person to come back to them.

The two disorders may have overlapping symptoms, so it is not always clear or distingiushable which disorder is causing a certain problem, and they certainly exaserbate (sp?) each other.

Good explanation starfish (I'll have to copy that one down) There is also a new dx that is expected to go into the new DSM IV revision in 2008 called complex-ptsd. It is a form of ptsd that has traits of borderline characteristics. It's actually quite fascinating.

I too cycle with wanting to run away and live all by myself in a trailer-LOL-and have everyone leave me alone. No more yelling, messing up, messing me up. No more triggers from everyone else. Usually goes away in about a week or three and stays gone for a few months or more at a time.


Later when more "rational" I think about:
But who would feed me? Pay my bills? I guess I could manage. Haven't been able to cook a real meal in about 6 years now and budgeting just my OWN money is difficult for the month. And think we who are on diability know its a joke to live on that and pay for everything including our reg doc, Pdoc, therapist, meds ( take 11 pills in the am, 6 @night) plus normal finances.

And who would hug me? And notice if I had eaten or remind me when I'm manic if I hadn't eaten? Forget that often when up for a month or two. Or buy me lbs of chocolate at the other end.

Then I think my husband could help pay and we could be friends and he could visit and I could live in the park near where he works a half hour away and he could be free otherwise of his burden of me.

Then remember all the times I've tried to get him out and free him and how angry he's become and the fact that he doesn't want to be free of me. One night not too long ago after a "shopping spell" he came in and gave me a hug and said "Dear, if there was ever anyone I wanted to save it would be someone as sweet as you". Not bad after $450.00 and locking the keys in my car. Not bragging, had been manic beyond usual to the point where it had hurt for days and got my check and was so embarassed at DBSA after locking my keys in and they knew how bad I was doing and he was so so nice to me. Do I deserve this? Part of me still says, you betcha, and another says does he deserve this.

Whoops. Super ramble. Just got off ebay and bid on another american girl doll. One of my worst passions. I feel guilty as usual.

Coping, I hope you see that others of us have the same issues. Right now I wish I was away so I don't have to look at him tomorrow and have to tell him I need him to pay with paypal again. Damn my typing fingers that are so quick to raise a bid.
But, I take full responsibility. No one forced me to do nothin

Thought all this was just my BP. Isn't running away and not wanting to be with anyone that? Not wanting to burden anyone or have them trigger me just BP?
GDSL093UJLGNN////...Tell me my suspicions of PSTD etc are all true...as well as thinking I have ADHD too... the symptoms sure have been there.

Yes that makes sense to me, I have felt some of the same feelings lately, I just dont care whether I go anywhere or see anyone. I too get this feeling that I want someone to feel sorry for me then I feel stupid because I want someones sympathy, dont know if I am making sense or not, I think its just a BP thing

I too want to run away or send every one away -- for me it's when I'm in the throws of depression -- I isolate. I would be quite content to have a computer, tv and diet pepsi with no people, phone, and no interuptions on any sort. That's from my BP

The difference in how I feel and what coping explains though is that she whats to send them all away -- then wants them to all come searching to find her. -- that's the reason I suggested it sounds more like Borderline in her case. Either way, if that is one of your dx, you'd do well to pick up a copy of the book I recommended. It'a small book, cheap and a quick read.

brings to mind a song lyric from Staind "i cry out for attention yet i always try to hide"
i feel like that a lot

Glad I am not alone in this feeling. Was beginning to think that maybe I was just really weird and isolated in my feelings.

oh yeah leave me the phuck alone thats ever 6 months or so for a few days.
arent BP's cute?