I have Bipolar 2 with rapid cycling, and panic attacks. I was just denied SSDI, because apparently I'm not crazy enough to get it I guess. I was wondering how does someone go about having the confidence to go out and get a job? I have worked in the past, but have had to quit every job I've ever had after 5-6 months, because I just couldn't take the stress of working anymore. I would literally have melt downs at work and then walk out and never go back. I would call my boss and tell them that I just didn't think it was going to work out. I have been applying for various jobs over the internet, but I'm scared to actually work again. I have done everything from working in a fast food place to working in a Dr's office. My pdoc told the ssdi people that I needed to be put on disability because of my disorders, but when they had me evaluated, their psychiatrist said I was fine. Their exact words were that "Even tho you may have emotional and psychiatric problems, you are still able to think and do things for yourself" I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to do. I have my mother in law taking care of me and my kids while my husband is at work, and I have my husband doing things for me once he gets home. I have someone else dispensing my meds to me, and talking to my pdoc, and making all my dr appts for me. So I guess my real question is, how do I go about trying to find work? I know I won't pass the pre-employment drug tests, because of the medications I'm on, and I will have to disclose what meds I'm on to the facility doing the drug tests. I'm terrified that I won't get hired. It's already happened a couple times now. I'm just scared that I wont be able to work again. I want to work, I just don't think I can.
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