Tomorrow I am going to the wake of a classmate, one who died of leukemia...the same type of leukemia I had as a very young child. He is the fourth kid in our age group (over a 12 year span) to have developed a type of cancer. He is the first to have died though. I'm breaking down over it, he had the same cancer I did, and going to his funeral is I guess my way of closure. I just don't know if I can do it...I'm losing sleep and I can barely eat and I just want to die...he got that peace while it was denied to me. Survivors' guilt...bad, and my medications aren't even holding me up. Help...grief is a feeling I know all too well, but this time it is more than almost any time...only my grandma beats it (a decade ago and I'm not over it).
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