Had an awful night last night. I was staying at my friends and was feeling really really depressed after crashing from a high during the day. I phoned the out of hours GP, who just told me to take more of my meds, the out of hours social services who told me to ring the crisis team, and the crisis team who told me it basically wasnt their problem and it was just life and I needed to deal with it myself. I knew something was going to happen if I didnt get help so I went to A&E. I saw a really nice nurse who I have met before who I had a long talk with. She seemedm really frustrated that the mental health services werent helping. I ended up crying my eyes out and she helped me calm down and think straight. I overheard her talking to the team of nurses telling them I had tried so hard to get help and she was proud of me for getting help before hurting myself and I was so touched that she said that. I think I'm going to send her a thank you card or something. Unfortunately there was nothing she could do mental health wise. The crisis team worker finally agreed to see me and basically told me the same as he said on the phone. He made me sign this contract saying if I self harmed, tried to commit suicide or got sectioned I would immediately be discharged from the crisis team. At least I saw someone I guess. I still cant get an appointment with my pdoc within the next month, even though I am desperate. So I have the crisis team for a week. After then I dont know what is going to happen. Dont know why I'm writing really, just needed to talk.
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