IM feeling so down, just want to give up. I don't want to kill myself...... just want to feel free from all of this. When i ws hospitilized........ after i felt like i was in a safe haven and did not have to deal with the outside world only talk to those who had the same problems. Sometimes i would just stay in my room, but i went to all the meetings . I saw my SW and pdoc daily, but that is such a short pderiod to get regulated. I was there for 3 weeks the first time...... Did not want to come home, I was scared to face realityh again. Didn't meanto blaber on........ just wanted to write
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...