First off I've got to say that I have been faithfully taking my fucking lithium every day except for last night, big fucking mistake. Any how my life sucks right now, my baby daughter is not with me but remains with my in laws. This PPD has been fucking with my bipolar, there is nothing the doc can do for the PPD and has told me to let it run its course. I swear im driving my hubby insane, he also has his own shit to deal with as he is a recovering addict. My own mother has been the biggest bitch ever throughout this whole process, and this is when I need her the most. I feel like everyone gets tired out by being around me, I drain all of their energy. Sometimes I wish there was a place with rubber walls so i can jump around and yell like a banchy, and bash my head into the fucking walls. I feel so anxious and alone, I hate being this way, its like I cant be left alone for 2 seconds and shit hits the fan. I would love to just tell my mind to shut the fuck up, im tired of ruminating thoughts and over analysing them as if it were a job i get paid for.
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