I got out of the hospital the day out afte thanksgiving. Thoughts were clear, felt good. Now I feel a bit better, but thinking is a bit harder. Sleep has been more difficult for past 4 nights, not terrible, only about 4 hours. Tonight went to Karaoke and felt, even thought I was a rock star. I usually sing country. I'm a bit jumpy, lots of energy. I was making fun of my best friend. It's starting to get a bit difficult to focus. Had a great thought though about how our perception of love is warped by sin. I believe this is why we cannot understand God and the suffering in the world. For if God is Love then why? They say that the world is the way it is because of sin, so why not our understandin of love and God. Anyway, I am worried that I am going off the deep end again. I have plenty of experience with depression, but can't really remember much about the couple times I have had mania. Any help? Any advice? I need to keep it together. I can't afford to be in any more debt. I don't see my new pdoc till tuesday. What if he thinks I'm just making this shit up and takes my meds away. I don't want to get worse. Christmas is coming and I want to be with it for my kids. I love my kids. My Daughter is 6 and my son is 9.I'm sorry, I'm just worried.
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