I was pretty much labled the problem child. The middle child syndrome. You know her i can't believe she did this again. Another marriage another divorce. Same old on and on.

Sometimes I feel like a bit of an outsider because my family is Christian whereas I hold no beliefs.

I was the outsider, black sheep pretty much. BP was unheard of when I was growing up let alone knowing the signs and symptoms. Now that I think back, some of the symptoms Ive had most of my life. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. Even though Id try to do the right things it never seemed to pan out. This was always frustrating for me better yet, I never could understand it. Like I said, there was no knowledge back when I was growing up that there was a name for this behavior, let alone chemical imbalance in the brain. It was considered acting out when in the manic stage and feeling sorry for yourself, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and move on when in the depressive stage. Needless to say there was constant turmoil and plenty of punishment. After the frustration came the stress/trauma it would trigger illness to one side or the other. Thats where the PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder set in. Thats another story in itself! My mother would constantly tell me because of my actions and behavior, I would never amount to anything and would always be a problem. Nice, huh!

I didnt necessarily feel like an outsider but I had very low self esteem. I always thought people were judging me or staring or making comments or thinking things about me. I realized later that this was all a product of my mind because of my low self esteem. Now, I am happy with myself and who I am so I dont worry about others and what they think.

I have always felt like the milkman's kid in my family. They are wonderful they just have no way to emotionally connect with me. It is the same with my life outside as well. I spend most of my life feeling very detached.

I always felt like an outsider and was told I was the milkmans...Dont get me wrong I love my faily and as for being the milkmans my father was the milkman...didnt find that out until I got my birth ceritficate...But that it mattered my dad has always been my dad...

baa baa black sheep and so on and so on... shit I am a black sheep to myself much less anyone else

I was the perfect child until I hit Maximum Velocity at age 19. Then I got to trade places with my cousin the crack whore as the Family Black Sheep because SHHH! I had a Mental Illness! And I TALKED about it to Strangers!

I have always been the lack sheep to be perfectly honest i dont give a toss what my family or others think. It took me along time to get to this mind set but I am me regardless of what anyone wants or thinks...

I'm the youngest girl out of 10 children. Always was the family scapegoat and there seems to be no undoing this tactic they use on me since they are so in denial. So I just don't see them much anymore.
Most of my family are quite a bit older than I am and they are stuck in this old mold idea about mental illness. Some of them have bipolar symptoms but resist admitting they might have something wrong. Some of them self medicate then turn around and judge me. LOL it's pretty ridiculous. They block it out and go on living their plastic lives. My aunt has bipolar and she's in and out of the hospital a lot. They tend to accept her more than they accept me because of her spotless reputation before she became inflicted with BD. I myself, on the other hand, was in quite a lot of trouble in my high school years so I was black balled early on. When bipolar hit me they thought "well, now we know why she's like THAT". LMAO
It's more peaceful not seeing them. Much more real.

kinda fits a mould in itself?
My family no im BP/anx dis-orders, they try and understand, but u cant if yer out-side. my Mum, bless, but she`d have thought i should be in re-hab..dont give them details..they go away when asked..over the last couple of years, i found out my Aunt is clincal depress..life-time sufferer, got relief from ADs 10 yrs ago..Can u imagine growing up in the 50s and taking to yer bed for months at a time, so scared to say anything, coz they really did cart you off to the looney bin! She never got married because of this..
OOh, and my grandad (mums side) was "retained" and had ECT for a "nervous breakdown"..stopped me mum asking questions!!Helped me a bit too..

My family accepts me and all that comes with it. My inlaws are very ignorant about mental illness and I know that they talk about me behind my back. I don't care.

yep, i'm the outsider. i'm also the only one who doesn't gossip about others, is totally honest, has solid moral and ethical beliefs that i will not compromise, and the only one who works in any kind of public service field. hmmmm...i would care WHY they think i'm an outsider??

Not quite an outsider with my immediate family, but the extended family's another story.

Even within my own family, they accept that i have mental illness, and treat me the same as they ever did before it manifested, but i know they don't understand it or what goes on in my mind. When ive tried to describe it, they seem evasive.

I feel like an outsider pretty much enywhere I am. Growing up I was always "different", the "problem child". Sometimes i even feel like an outsider on this site. I am in a low right now, go figure. Nobody really comments on my discussion posts. My friends don't write me too much. Guess I am just differently different. Who knows?