Great. This is what I feared - being lonely, anxious, sad, and feeling isolated. I'm now out of school and having trouble finding a job. My friends recently moved away. One of them was supposed to get in touch with me this week about a housewarming party at their new home, but so far I haven't heard anything and it's already Thursday. I'm hoping that I won't be either forgotten or given details at the very last minute in which case I might not be able to make it. It's kind of far away and I'm not familiar with the area, so I was hoping that someone could go with me. I've mentioned it to a couple of people, but I'm sure that since there are no definite plans yet, they will probably make other plans for the weekend and won't be able to go with me. I could go alone, but I have anxiety issues. :( I've been pretty lonely for most of this week plus my social anxiety is acting up along with the damn depression. I lost it yesterday and just broke down crying. I've been trying my best to work on my mental health issues and now I've fallen down again it seems. The hell continues to resurface and I don't want to live very long as selfish as that sounds. I feel so weak and pathetic right now. In the past, I doubted that I was actually bipolar but now after considering my past and reading up on bipolar II, I think that I probably am bipolar. Medications have caused more grief than anything for me. I don't really know what to do anymore. My alternative treatments don't seem to be doing much of anything lately. Previously, they were. So much for the glimmer of hope. I don't know if I will even make it until age 30. Maybe not even 25. I fear that I will take my life before then.
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