I know there are people who suffer more and less then do I. I am just tired of the pain. Just tired. I smile on the outside till I get home then I am myself which believe me is not worth being here. The ironic part of it all is I deal with people who need me to encourage them, what a joke. What I do for others I can not do for myself. I do the meds, therapy self talk and all those nice things, yet here I am in my own hell, funny isn't. Lets see I came from being abused, self injury,divorced, fat, ugly and useless to myself, etc.... I don't feel sorry for myself I am just dead to myself.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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