I'm 24 and recently diagnosed with bipolar mania. I was in a terrible car accident about 5 weeks ago after a 4 month self-medicating binge of prescription drugs and alcohol. I was baker acted and officially diagnosed. I'm stuck in my parents house with no car, a crappy desk job, and very little interaction with people my own age. When I do interact, they don't even understand me. I think i'm going through a depressed episode because I feel so sorry for myself. I also suffer from an eating disorder and I have recently gained some weight. I am not dealing with this well. It just feels like I have no control of anything in my life. I feel pathetic, I'm too scared to kill myself and too scared to make real changes, I just want to cry. There is no point in abusing my pills because tomorrow i'll wake up and feel worse. I wake up every day and try. I have tried looking for local jobs and I'm planning to go on an Israeli fellowship for 10 months in August, but the interview process has been delayed. I try to call my friends, but it sucks when I see them, I can't drink, I don't want to eat "bad" foods, and I don't do illegal drugs. I'm no fun. I'm scared because I have nothing. Please someone reach out to me.
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