I feel like exploding on everyone within my range of sight. I wish I had a pasture away from everyone so I could scream bloody murder and not have the police come wondering what was going on.
I managed to get my Birkinstock sandals on yesterdy. Previously I had been unable to wear any shoes except for loose house shoes since late December.
Tonight will be my last dose of prednisone thank God. Taking it has my nights and days mixed up. I have a lot of anxiety the better part of the evening and morning. It is 5 AM now. I am about to jump out of my skin and don't like myself much less anyone else. I just took an Ativan. I have a tendency to forget I have them sometimes.
My house is trashed.I have managed to keep up with most of the laundry and load the dishwasher this weekend so that is progress.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am anxious, angry, frustrated, unhappy and unsettled. I'm not suicidal so that is something. I'm just so frustrated I want to scream and scream and scream until my throat is sore.
I can walk and I am breathing so that is a positive.
I have severe cabin fever since I have been unable to go anywhere much except for the doctor's offices and emergency room since late December. I think I went to the grocery store once for something during that time. The thing that sucks about it is that we had 80 degree and sunny weather one day last week in addition toa ocuple of days in the 70's Fahrenheit. Seeing as I slept during the day I didn't get to enjoy it at all.
I am depressed too. I feel like my life is over that it is too late for me to do anything to change it.
I’m trying really hard to move forward in a new relationship. The guy (who I’ve been with for just over a year) that I’m with and I are very happy together.. aside from lately, even though we’re moving in together to a place to ourselves without out current roomate in a week. I’ve been going through a bit of of depression.. and having been having feelings of extreme low self worth come...
Today is my Birthday. This day had always been a special day for me. Thank you all for all for all the support you have given me through out the years i have been here. Thank you for getting me through tough times.Scott