Fed up with p docs I swear, went to see my pdoc for formal diagnosis I told her all that was going on and the fact that three people in my immediate family suffer from bi polar and she said my father showed psychopathic tendencies. All my syptoms match bi polar and I suffered the traumas that would have set it off BUT because the mood changes were so odd that she was not sure if it was bi polar....HUH??? Because I went from normal to manic depression, to feeling normal through my pregnancy to severe depression and highs again and because my moods change so quickly she is not sure, also I TELL HER I feel mainic out of control, wanting to do stupid and dangerous stuff though I don't allow myself because of my kids and my mind is wheeling and speeding and she seems stumped. hmmmmm. she says I am not a typical ANYTHING lol what the hell does THAT mean??? She says it may be bi polar 2 but she can't be sure so they are going to treat it as such and see what happens, if I respond to the meds that is it if I don't then it is not. I feel in capable hands now lol. I just want it to stop. She asks me do you WANT it to be bi polar? What do YOU think do YOU think your bi polar? I just stared at her with my mouth open...they get paid now for people to self diagnose?? I said yeah I always WANTED to be bi polar it was my childhood dream! I always wanted to be like my mom, abusive, cold and out of control what child WOULD'NT??? lol So I said, I just want to know what the problem is and how to fix it so MY kids don't have to grow up afraid of me or afraid of BIENG like me.
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