Hi, paulsgirl!!!!
Are you sure it's fear, and not anxiety? To me, that's pretty much what I experience, but I always labeled it 'anxiety'!!!
(Which is a good label, since there's meds for it!!!)
Take care and good luck!!! I hope you find a way to put a stop to it!!!

he's in Iraq, and I'm here, I'm terrified, but all I want is confidence.

Fear is really debilitating. thankgod i havent suffered it for a few years....it used to be soooo strong i thought ppl were out to kill me.fear is not only just in our mind it manifests in our bodys physically and make you quite ill.
have you spoken to your doctor gotm to get on some meds babe that have an anti anxiety effect to quell the fear and the ever present feeling of doom. gotta speak up babe get on some rispiridone or someting :) you cant live like that babe its draining.

That fear is a different type of fear then most experiance as anxiety... but I think some of it is based in Anxiety. Sadly there is no way to give you confidance because he is serving his country and putting himself in harms way to serve his country. If its cofidance about his safty all you can do is pray and find support in people that are going throught the same thing you are. If its fear of loosing him to other things besides war then a heartfelt letter from him may help. I know you dont want to put preasure on him but maybe you can gently let him know you just need to read the words that he is still thinking of you and loves you and misses you and cant wait to be in your arms again.

You may find some relief from some anti anxiety medication... its not far fetched that it is anxiety and that this is a trigger. If you seek help with meds I would state it like that. That its a trigger that he is away not that that is the problem.

Im here if you need to talk (even if its the wrong account)

Huggles (my heart is with you)

Buggie

Maybe you are already on a medication that causes this. The SSRI's caused this feeling in me-can't take any of them.

Ah!!! Well, then it's fear all right, and situational fear, at that!!!!
That's a tough one, since there is a valid reason to be afraid!!!
I looked at your profile and I assume and hope that you've posted this over in the military families community, as well as on here!!!
Focus on prayer and therapy, since they seem to work for you!!!
And if you haven't already, seek out military based groups on sites other than this, as well!!! Keep looking for all the support you can find!!!!
And know my thoughts are with you!!!! And your guy!!
Take care and good luck, sweetie!!! You have a LOT on your plate!!! I suppose it isn't very likely that you can cut down on the stress in the other areas of your life, but if you CAN manage it at all, do so!!!!

thanks all, what meds do you guys reccomend? I can't deal with this 24/7... I need to be taken care of, cause I'm really vulnerable, yet strong, it's an awkward mix, and I don't understand it. My love for him only increases, I love him and wish I could hold him and tell him everything will be okay. I hate this, I just want to be okay.

Your gonna have to work with your pdoc to decide what might work and try a few... I take xanax and its the only thing that helps my anxiety. I wanted to try the extended release but insurance wont pay for it. THere are other anxiety meds that doctors perfer as they arent as addictive. If you have any substance abuse history xanax is probally not good long term. I havent had much success with the other anti anxiety meds to offer advice on them

the extended release xanax is suppose to help with lessoning the addiction according to my doc as you dont have a really high high then crash and take one and get that high and crash and repeat one or 2 more times a day. the extended relief is taken usually in the am and lasts for the day with a slow steady release... you have a period usually durring the hardest part of the day of a higher level then a gradual decline... you still take the same amount that you would over the day just all at once

yeah, not too excited about being "high" never had any addiction problems, of course I have experimented before, but don't anymore. I just need something that'll work well with dealing with anxiety and not react badly with my medications, seroqeul and lexapro.

I take Klonopin for my anxiety, but I don't highly recommend it, if I'm anything to go by! But it's a recent addition and I would think that the dose I'm on -- .5mg -- is very low.
It takes the edge off my anxiety, but that's about it!!!!

when I say high its not the kind of high that you think of at least not for me... its very calming... and that can be addicting... and when it works so fast then wears off people seek that calm again... thats why its addictive. Thats also why the extended release is good because you dont bounce up and down.

the short term is good for when your anxiety just flat out gets out of control. I take one tab in the am and one in the pm... help me face my morning and laying in bed to sleep... I save my other dose for crisis... or extream attack that I just cant sit through... it works for me but I accept that I will just have to live with some anxiety.

Ask me in 6 months when my Husband leaves for boot camp on may 8th how Im managing... I forsee a hospital visit... that scares me as I have no where for my daughter to go really... it will be hard.

Klonopin didnt work very well for my anxiety or panic attacks... I felt like I was taking a sugar pill that made me sleepy yet couldnt sleep... I guess it depends on the person and thier other meds... oh and it gave me a head ache.

Buggy, I know what it's like to deal with your loved one being deployed or seperated from you, it really sucks, that's why I think I need something...

I have 6 months to plan and I know he will be in a safe place but I just dont think Ill do ok... THis is his weekend to do Drill and he even came home to sleep despite the hour and a half drive. But when I lost the check book (I Loose stuff constantly) I wanted to call and I couldnt ... he helps calm me down so I can find things rationally... I dont know what I will do he is my rock and its going away... I have anxiety now and my pdoc doesnt like to raise my anxiety meds what will I be like in 6 months???

I know dont plan a bvreak down... but I know its inevitable... just thinking about it here is started the anxiety...

I can completely understand your need to help control the anxiety. I would almost bet that if you described your symptoms they would be anxiety symptoms and maybe even panic attacks at the really bad moments. Stress can be a huge trigger to anxiety.

Is there something specific about him being away that you can adress??? it might help