I had to drive myself to hospital yesterday because was feeling suicidal. Wanted to be put in hospital. There were no beds. They offered me State Hospital instead, would have to go in police car with handcuffs and be committed by State. People there are 4 in room and mostly schizophrenic, definately delusional and psychotic. Mostly street people. I asked my 78 year mother to drive me. Had excuse she was playing bridge. Have 2 grown daughters and mother called them. They never called me back. They say they can't deal with it. That's my whole family I have zero support. What am I supposed to do when I feel like I am alone and abandoned by family because they say they can't deal with me. The feeling of abandonment from own family is enough to want to stay estranged, but then I will be totally alone. Don't get along with mother. Kids can't deal. What to do?