I swear. I just swear. Life has been supremely stressful lately and it's finally done the trick. I swear my freaking brain circuits feel as though they are firing fucking crazy. Things really aren't THAT bad. I know this intellectually, but my stupid brain feels like it's going to blow a fucking gasket. I am CONSUMED with BAD and DARK thoughts. Blach!!! Maybe it's because the weather sucks in this goddamn shithole of a shithole in which I hang hat. Maybe it's who knows what, but life was so fucking grand once and now it's not that fucking grand. Maybe I need more drugs. Maybe it's more sleep. Maybe it's a fucking lobotomy with a .45. All I know is the fucking noise is full volume and it's beating me down. Ugh. I want to run away. I can't run away though because I have kids. My kids need me. Right? I feel like I want to take a big clamp and crank it down until my head crushes. That's impractical of course, but it has a certain dramatic appeal. Fuck it. I'm going to bed. Does anyone feel like I feel tonight? Rant concluded.
Posts You May Be Interested In
Since my last post about struggling with many issues my pdoc has started me on lithium and it makes me feel like shit. Granted I am only on my fourth dose but I am hoping that my body adjusts to it and I won't feel like shit all the time. Still feeling empty but not rapid cycling as much . Are there a lot of people on this group taking it and maybe share with me your experience. Thanks Happy...
so much stuff happened this yr that so much of it is hard to deal with. I have decided to go forward in my life without my family . They are just not healthy for me . I am trying to only be with people who accept me for me and leave people who don't make me feel good. From my mom being so mean to me and telling me I was a fuck . Imagine that my very own mother who has lived in my home for the...