I swear. I just swear. Life has been supremely stressful lately and it's finally done the trick. I swear my freaking brain circuits feel as though they are firing fucking crazy. Things really aren't THAT bad. I know this intellectually, but my stupid brain feels like it's going to blow a fucking gasket. I am CONSUMED with BAD and DARK thoughts. Blach!!! Maybe it's because the weather sucks in this goddamn shithole of a shithole in which I hang hat. Maybe it's who knows what, but life was so fucking grand once and now it's not that fucking grand. Maybe I need more drugs. Maybe it's more sleep. Maybe it's a fucking lobotomy with a .45. All I know is the fucking noise is full volume and it's beating me down. Ugh. I want to run away. I can't run away though because I have kids. My kids need me. Right? I feel like I want to take a big clamp and crank it down until my head crushes. That's impractical of course, but it has a certain dramatic appeal. Fuck it. I'm going to bed. Does anyone feel like I feel tonight? Rant concluded.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and hope that even when people are struggling and going through some dark days we can take a moment to feel little hope and a little gratitude....I have found these two elements even during the worst of times can often get me throughThank you to all of the wonderful people who have been great and supportive friends for a long time now... I...
7 yrs ago my nephew committed suicide at the age of 35 . I was on my Wat over to his house to see why he wasn't answering his phone only to find him dead on the floor. I tried to revive him but he was long gone so I sat there rocking him as I walled. It was devastating to say the least. It has taken me many yrs of therapy to get my life back . They were very difficult times for me . All I wanted...