I want to be well but at the same time i will have to change alot of things or it will change alot of things in my life that is ive been where i didnt know who i was nemore from the drugs just flat no personality no feelings u know numb im just starting the process again and i guess im scared cuz they really messed me up last time they had me suicidal and i have never been in my life and also maybe this sounds petty and iam by no means in any stretch of the imagination an alcoholic but i cant imagine never going out partying with my friends again having a gd time has neone ever felt this way like me u want to be well u want to be normal like everyone else and be able to do wat everybody else does and yeah mabe i cant but it doesnt make it easier and then when i feel better i start thinkin mabe im not really that bad neway mabe im just irresponsible
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