OMG... I am here, but i am negative tonight, just a warning

whats up?lets get this conversation started.

My question is how open are you about bp? People can see that I'm a bitch, a hermit, full of rage, a manic chatterbox, a friendly person, a closed mouth person, my house is a mess, fifteen hundred projects...we all know how our lives are. Do I tell people why...or just let them think I am a huge flake.

I tell them that I am a passionate person. Sometimes I am really up. Sometimes I am really down. That is how I was made.

I have made great strides in anger mgt. I try to take care of the problem at aggitation, irritation and frustration before it gets to anger. B/C once it gets to anger, I have a really really hard time controling it.

I isolate when I am super down. I do try to do things when I am just down. S/T that helps.

I have spent some time in restrooms just trying to get a grip.

If I am overtalking I have to conscienciously let the other person talk. Sometimes I don't start talking in a group until the end as once I start it is soooooooo hard to stop. So I figure if I let everyone else have their say and then I talk like in Sunday school class then that is ok. Besides often others will say my point. In this way I don't seem like a conversation hog.

In one to one conversation I try to watch how the person I am talking with is handling it. Are they doing ok with my rate of speech? Do I need to slow down? Are they comfortable with my rapid fire questions? Or do I need to stop? Are they really listening or are they showing nonverbal communication signs that they are done talking or want to be done talking. Most people will not say it. But their body sure does.

I try to ask them a question about themselves if I feel I am dominating the conversation. And then I have to really focus on listening. Racing thoughts are tricky.

My home is a mess s/t. Or I will kid that I need to fire the housekeeper or laundry lady. Of course that is me. Tee, hee. But I think it sounds funny. "I just can't get good help these days." Of course I have to be careful. Some of my friends are wealthy enough to have this luxury. Tee, hee. Not me. Not me. Oooooooooooh. Tee, hee.

Lotuslang sounds soooo just like me! I can go from one thng to another in a snap. Right now everything overwhelms me. It's funny when I become a chatterbox and go from one subject to another my husband as figured out my BP language and can follow right along some people think he's crazy too

Sometimes I tell them that I feel like being quiet today. Sometimes I am just like that.

Flaky. I don't like the term. Makes me sound bad. It puts me in a box. Oooooooo, I hate that!!

I prefer.............unique, passionate, original, creative, a person that is who she was designed to be. Me. Just me.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I even told my mother-in-law that I needed a 24 hour plus notice if she expected my house clean. Otherwise she could come anytime she wanted. If it got to her I would whole heartly welcome her to clean the house. If that is what she felt she needed to do. That was ok with me. I tell others that too.

My oldest has a friend who has expressed total disgust at my housecleaning abilities at times. I gave her the opportunity to clean my house. She didn't want to. Darn it. But it got so ugly that I told my daughter that that friend could only come over if the house was clean b/c I didn't want to hear the ugly. It's like telling a fat person they are fat. Well, duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Like they don't know. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee.

I told my daughter that if the house is clean or at least picked up that she can invite her other. Or she can clea or pick up and then she can invite that friend over. Of course she can go to her friend's home. They have a housekeeper . Oooooooooooooo, it is soooooooooo rough for that girl.

Like I am going to be repeativily insulted in my own home. Is hell freezing over? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Just so rough for that girl. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. To have such problems.

But I suppose each has their own. Yes?

When my kids want friends over, they clean the house I stay in my bedroom out of the way. They are old enough and I get a clean house. Even if it is stuffed in the closets

That is ok for you I guess but I have to have a clean house at all times and my bf can tell when I am in a mood because I am going through the whole house and vacuuming, doing the dishes, doing luandery, dusting, mopping the floors, and cleaning my daughters room which I only do when I am in this mode. She is only three but she cleans her room every day and when I do it it is better but I want her to learn that she has to clean her own messes. As far as your kids cleaning when their friends come they may be doing it because they don't want you to look bad and not because they are imbareassed.

my god, i took a break from cleaning after balling my eyes out yesterday and this mornin g because my 15 yr old daughter elieves i should clean and cook more often and that i should quit living off ssd pretty much dragged me through the dirt for being bipolar and than i open this email and someone else is talking about how pressuring that can be. by the way my daughter is living with a very very wealthy aunt and uncle and healthy. can u come right back. maj

Negative TONIGHT Sickoflife?
TONIGHT?
Need I say more?

did i say tonight? well since every night is tonight, I suppose thats true

Sick, you are in good company I am negative most of the time so if it is only at night. Hats off to you. hehe :) Time for me to bring on that little ray of sunshine the facade that I put on around others.
Never want to bring anyone else down. How selfish of me I should share it more often.
I feel raving mad today.

I can't believe your daughter would judge you, it is so unfair, I hope that it is more than she just doesn't understand the disorder that we are facing each and every day and have to allow for the input that comes from outside stimuli in our lives. I know that what we go thru and our cycling can be maddening for those around us and those that truly love us do their best to understand, but no one can understand like those that are going thru it, just talk it out with us or someone you feel comfortable talking to and take this all step by step. Healing the relationship with your daughter will come in time, you need to focus on yourself first, be the best you you can be and step by step we'll make. You do not battle alone!

Betty B has some great ideas. I agree totally

I tried to get my kids to read the spoon theory, and they either refused outright, or said it was just an excuse to be a slacker.
oh well....