I find myself depressed today. Actually it has been creeping up on me for a week or two. I gained 4 pounds this past week. Yeah, I always turn to food when I am emotionally a basket case. Such is the addict I am. I can't wait to go to bed at night and don't want to get up in the mornings. I wonder why we even moved to this state. My son is going to college and my hubby has a job he likes but me I have nothing. No friends here, nothing to do. I've become a hermit except for my 12 step meetings which I didn't even go to last night. My house is a wreck I just don't have the get up and go to do a darn thing anymore. I know I need to start keeping a food log and exercising but I don't want to. I know I should work out a schedule for me to be on but what to do besides exercise, go to my meeting once a week and do the regular household chores. BORING BORING BORING I have a son who lives in a different state that I don't see very often and that is also depressing. I am slowly killing myself living like this and part of me doesn't care. My tdoc asked me IF I only had a year to live one spring, one fall, one winter and one summer what would I do? I'd like to lose some weight in that year and be kinder to those around me and more understanding was my answer. I just can't seem to get out of the gutter and do the things I should. I know what I should so (well except for the routine I should make out) I just feel chained to a big rock to where I can't even move if that makes any sense. Please don't suggest a med tweek as I've had one recently and it did help. I think this depression really set in once my son started school back and my other son left for his home out of state. In other words I think it is situational to some degree but man it came on fast. If you've gotten this far thanks for listening.
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