I haven't been doing very well. The past few days suicidal thoughts would creep in. There was a post yesterday, or the day before, anyway, it was allowing myself to kill myself in a planned way with support of family and friends who didn't want me to suffer my pain anymore and were willing to let me go. It was OK to let go. This thinking actually gave me some relief. There was no pointing the finger, no name callings of selfishness, no religious guilt of condemnation..just pure and simple relief. I had my meds. changed last night. The thoughts of suicide are no longer with me, but the method of how I found relief is very much with me. It makes me wonder if its not just another form of self mutilation, like cutting, only without the physical scars. It makes me wonder if it is healthy thinking or unhealthy thinking, if it is harmless thinking or harmful thinking. I just wondered what your thoughts on this would be.
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