I went home for lunch my husband was being interviewed my his laywer about his condision and geting social security. Most of the time I block out what I am feeling about his health and how it has changed our life. It just brought all that shit up in my mind. thinking about how life was and what it is like now.I just want to cry. we were so active. river trips for a week at a time shouting the rappids looking up at the stairs at night. great sex. going to the movies or out to dinner. it's all gone now. every day when I go home everything hingess on if he is having a good day or a bad day. I want to be a good wife and not feel sheated. I love my husbend it is so hard to see him in pain all the time. see how tired he gets. how much he misses the life we had. they asked him for my phone number. I don't want to feel this I just want it to stop.
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