i think i might be cycling. that is what its called when you go from depressed into manic or hypomanic, right? i go thru these phases: my favorite is when i have good enough energy to do hair makeup, meals, clean, and keep up with the kids-the down part is that i spend waaayyy to much money on credit cards, and start waayyy to many projects, and next thing i know i feel all bouncy and hyper and annoying to my husband. the next phase is lots of stress-like, i can't take this and i want to scream. i can't deal with the kids. then i have fights with my husband, like explosive fights. after that i go and spend a lot more money, drink and drive, or smoke pot, think i'm in love with other men or that i should've married my ex bc we were really meant to be together. then after that its the depression, the lethargy and all consuming guilt, wanting to die, etc. this has all happened over the past year. anyway, i started seeing my pdoc again a month ago after quiting for a few months (during which i was probably cycling), but once the depression came back i felt like i needed help again. so he put me on an maoi called parnate since all others made me feel even more depressed. it seems like its lifted quite a bit of the depression, but now i feel like i'm a little too happy. it started a couple weeks ago with the spending, but i didn't feel too excited. now today i'm like, "woo-hoo!!kids lets go do this and that and i'm so happy i can't stop smirking and in my head i feel like screaming(good screaming)" anyway, maybe its the lack of sleep (i've had insomnia for awhile and the parnate makes it worse). or maybe could i possibly be cycling? like i said, i haven't been diagnosed bipolar, only depressed so far-b4 we thought i might have a.d.d., but stimulants made me crazy then depressed. how does your doctor know when you are truly bipolar?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...