Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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I don't know where to start i'm tired of cycling, the meds, not being understood, the pain from covering everything up and trying to pretend things are ok.I know that chances are that tomorrow will indeed be a much better day, but right now i'm mentally and physically exhausted from this. i feel like the disease is winning and that it is consuming every aspect of me and leaving absolute darkness in it's place.I want to be normal for my husband and my kids. i'm tired of being mrs. grumpy pants and having my family walk on egg shells.I don't want to push them away, but that is exactly whats happening.
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Most of us have been where you are and know the agony. First thing I always ask is if you have a Psychiatrist. This is imperative to battle this disorder. I noticed you are only on Effexor? If we are only on an antidepressant, it can mess with our moods. Effexor and Lamictal worked for me for years.
Let me know if I can help in any way. Keep sharing and reaching out for help. Many of us aren't on here for long periods of time (and some live on here 24/7). But, we try to be there for one another!!!
HUGS!!
I had a difficult time raising my kids, too.
And I wasn't diagnosed then, it was awful.
I know it's no fun, but that's the way it is....all we can do is the best we can each day...
And, the support from all of the people here who can relate and understand, will help you through, too.
Welcome!!
As the last person said, you need more than just an antidepressant. You need a good mood stabilizer. I've taken Lithium and Depakote, and both worked, but Depakote was the best fit for me. Also, high doses of antipsychotics such as Seroquel work as mood stabilizers when given at the right dose. You definitely need something like that to level you out and make you feel more "normal".
Talk to your doc, and if you don't have one, get one ASAP. This illness is a bit#h, but with the right med combination and therapy, it can get better. I don't mean that it can be cured because it can't. I just mean it becomes manageable. I have BP I, among other things, and after a hospitalization in August and getting on the combination of meds I'm on now, I'm feeling more stable than I have in a long time. There is hope!
I wish you nothing but the very best!
Better to take action now than have to wait six weeks after you've started a crisis.
I feel pretty much the same way, lately.
I'm just so very weary of dealing with this.
I take Lamictal, Seroquel, and Klonopin. Well, and a lot of other crap, but that's for other things.
The Lamictal (and maybe the Seroquel, too) do a great job on keeping me from going too hypo, but don't work quite so well on combatting the depression. LOL!!! I wish it was the other way around!!!! And helps tone down my hypersexuality a bit, but nowhere near enough.
I wish we could take a vacation from all this, once in a while. I swear, dealing with being BP seems like a full-time, round the clock job and I really would like at least a short break from it!!