I am feeling horrid. I know I instigated the things that lead to the fight last night. Another horrid episode of yelling, crying, breakin stuff. I really hate myself today. My brother was stillborn. Why did I live instead of him or maybe in addition to? I think I need to get on SSI, get meds, something. We cannot continue to live like this. I'm afraid I will hurt myself or someone else. I don't remember alot of what happened. I try to have a couple drinks to relax and it just didn't work. I can't drink anymore. I am just really disappointed that things in my life are so opposite of what I wanted them to be. :(
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...